My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
