great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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