Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
