would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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