it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
