The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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