If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
