Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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