i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
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I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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