woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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