Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
