I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
