Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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