Non-Jews are for practice
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
