Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize