You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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