I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
