I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
