I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
