you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
