If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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