Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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