I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
