walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
