oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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