atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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