FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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