remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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