No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.