Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
