Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
