I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize