I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
