I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
