I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
