I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize