You just made me feel so damn special
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
