I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
