they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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