Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
