I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
