small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
