ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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