Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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