i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
