Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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