yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
