Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
