i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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