dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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