Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
