You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
