Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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