PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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