How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
