So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
