I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no