I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off