Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
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That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
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It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit