It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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