I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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