it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Shame is for Republicans.
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