Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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