i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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