i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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