He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
