Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
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I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
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Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think my moral compass just broke
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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