Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
