1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize